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Posted on 07-26-2016

Having just spent a few weeks in Santa Barbara I realized how much I needed the time away to regroup from this past year. Overall it was an amazing family vacation. As always, I choose to see the world as a glass full perspective and this vacation was no different. However, if I’m real a vacation with two teenagers isn’t always as glamorous as the few social media pictures might portray. There was some teenage angst. Everyone remember the movie, European Vacation, where Chevy Chase asks Rusk: “Son, Look at the Eiffel Tower! Rusk replies with rolling eyes: “Yeah whatever.” Well, it went a little something like that scene a few times. We definitely had few of those heated moments where we were like...”REALLY”...we are paying to be treated like this and give them this experience? We may even had a trip with one to emergency doc for a broken nose from surfing, and just maybe I put myself in a few “time-outs” like I was a kid again. So it wasn’t all sipping champagne and frolicking down the beach hand in hand. Oh who am I kidding, sometimes lots of champagne was involved for sanity reasons only, and I’m pretty sure during that haze I mentioned to Chandler lets not take them next year! Of course with every unpleasant moment only a true blooded teenager can create there were equally if not more moments of family connection. Those bonding experiences families can have together and years later tease each other about while sitting around the Thanksgiving table reminiscing. We tucked those away inside and chose to hold on to those memories, and what I began to observe was me. I noticed the more I made a decision to let go without attaching to my teenagers changing hormonal moods they started mimicking me at bit more as well. They seemed to find laughter, a more positive outlook of whatever event was before them just a little faster than when we first started off our vacation. What amazing foreshadowing those times gave me of understanding how important it has become for me to stay the course in how I’m trying to live my life. That even when we faulter we simply start again.

            It was actually during one of our hikes I kept replaying a song “Indigo” in my head. Trevor Hall sings “Don’t you be afraid my child, don’t you be afraid my child of what they say. I’ve got to go back those skies indigo, back to those holy country roads, back to what my sweet heart knows.” Could there be any better words sung in a song than this? I think not for me from the past few years I’ve been living. I love how words in a song can touch a place inside and put your life totally in perspective. So despite the times I wanted to strangle my children verses the times they put me in tears of deep joy I totally got it’s up to me how I want to live it. How I choose to let life effect me and you know what, I choose all of it! Every single moment of hurt, madness, love, joy, laughter, and frustration because all of it leads me to connect deeply with understanding this quote below, just as much as the song Indigo touched my soul.

“God is directly present in the man who has the pure heart of a child and who laughs and cries and dances and sings on divine ecstasy.”

This is how fearless I want to feel in all the moments of my life. We’ll never stop feeling the emotions of hurt, anger, sadness, frustration, just as much as we feel joy, peace, love, and happiness. We are made as individuals to feel and express all sides of the coin. As our lives flow so do our emotions. Although over time you can learn that your emotions don’t have to ride the waves as high or as low while you face the ups and downs that inevitably come along. Who you are is a reflection of your inner peace not what’s happening in any given moment. They are separate entities. When we block the waves from flowing through us by not releasing the emotions its when our minds run, we attach with some sort of action, and then that energy stores within our hearts. In yoga we call the unfinished energy pattern Samskara, meaning “impression.” A Samskara is a blockage, an impression from the past that keeps us attached to riding those waves.  This past year I quit on myself for a brief while and let my two worlds collide again. Even though I knew better I guess I needed it to realize I took a few steps backwards and was only dipping my toe in the water. These past weeks showed me how extremely diligent I must be in protecting my boundaries by letting the Samskara when it pops up just pass through me. Just like the tide pulls a wave in then releases out onto the shore or how fast teenagers moods switch. Each teaches you valuable lessons when willingly to be just an observer. When you start to connect those dots you’ll discover you don’t have to allow external circumstances to rule your inner world. For now that might seem like a rare experience but when it does happen let those divine moments linger and take a hold of your being. They will shorten I promise because its happening on a much deeper level than before for me by making it a conscious habit. Then maybe you’ll notice the next time your inner dialogue wants to crash with the external waves rising, you’ll find yourself afterwards smiling, laughing, heart dancing from a place of wholeness because you're living it from the inside out. Exactly what your sweet heart already knew....

Susan Keener said:

I used to work for Chandler at AF enterprises. I came across this and may be interested in Yoga classes.

2016-08-17 07:46:41

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